It’s normal for us as human beings to glorify those who seemed to have it all together, or those who seemed to have an esteemed position in the community. As a result, we try to find ways to “be like them” when those who in the spotlight will tell you that it’s not easy being them half the time! The Church, for example , provides many positions. You have: the Deacons, the Ushers, the Choir director, the Praise and Worship leader(s), the Elders, the Ministers, The First Lady and Pastor, along with his children who make up the “First Family”.
I myself am apart of the First Family in the Church. Myself and my two brothers have been apart of my Father’s ministry (Higher Calling Christian Center), going on about 15 years now and there has been multiple challenges we have faced as a family and as individuals. Since I can not speak on the behalf of my brothers, I can speak for the women and young girls who are or have been in my position as the daughter of a Pastor. To keep this short and to prevent me from dragging this conversation out, I have boiled down the top 3 challenges that I have faced and that others can surly relate to.
1. Everyone Knows Your Business!
Now this is not at the doing of your mother or father intentionally but through fellowship with other churches, more than likely they will provide small details of your life to the congregation as he introduces himself and the family. That’s fairly normal. Yet, since you are in the spotlight, any and every thing you do can be seen or heard about through the grapevine or the “churchvine” as I call it. If you’re dating someone, everybody wants to know about him. Are they saved? If you’ve been in a relationship for a while already, everybody wants to know when you’re going to get married/and what’s taking so long!. If you’re already married, when are you going to have kids? .If you’re single, all of sudden the church wants to be a matchmaker. I’ve personally met my match and my maker, His name is Jesus!. All jokes aside , there’s very little privacy you have being the daughter of a pastor. From the clothes you wear to your love life, our lives are constantly under a microscope.
2. You wear many hats!
Preacher’s Kids all over can agree with this one!. When we first started out as a ministry , we started right in our living room. I was the usher, my brothers were the deacons. Later on Jamond, the second oldest, became our piano player and Jamael , the oldest, was our drummer. As for me, I sang in the choir AND praise and worship alongside my mother and my cousins. As we grew as a church, positions changed but we always do over and above because we know the expectations of our Pastor and Father. If you’re a small Church, you understand what it’s like to hold many titles, and you can become frustrated with the responsibilities that have fallen on your shoulders. One thing is for sure, it has taught me how to multitask and always be proud of the work you do in your ministry. You are a valuable part.
3. We’re Just Like You!
For some odd reason, it seems that we don’t have the privilege of making mistakes like everyone else in the church. If I were to become pregnant and have child out-of-wedlock, or constantly missing church because I was partying late on saturday nights and drinking, everyone would know and then begin to assume that what the Pastor is teaching or preaching isn’t hitting home as it should. We sin just like you, we fall just like you and we get back up just like you. The responsibility of our mistakes does not fall on the shoulders of our parents but on ourselves. This Christian lifestyle is personal, and our salvation is intimate, so the relationship that my father or mother have with God does not transfer to me. We are not perfect, yet we all should be striving to be mature in Christ. Should you hold us accountable, of course, but do it without accusation because that could lead to a rebellious heart. Always pray for those who are in charge or in positions of leadership, their effectiveness is vital to their family and the church as a whole.
No matter what your title or position in the church is, always remember why you do it and who you do it for. You are a reflection of Christ , so do it with love and integrity.
Always with Love,